Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
