dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
