Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
