well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
