...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
