If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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