i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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