I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
