Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she told me i tasted like america
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
