Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
