They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
