Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
