Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Randomize
