She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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