How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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