i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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