i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
