walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
