It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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