Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
