she looked like the before picture.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
