I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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