pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
