hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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