i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
