Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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