please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
