i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
