Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
