u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
When are your genitals available?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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