It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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