Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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