i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I looked at my own cervix.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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