OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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