Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize