I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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