'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
