my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
