The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
