I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
