I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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