Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
