if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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