Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
