Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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