u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
