is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
my being single is dangerous.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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