so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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