Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
