Grow some girl-balls and come out already
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
